The blogosphere is ending. No more blogs. Blog apocalypse. The internet
is still working, the world is fine. But you can’t write anymore. Write
your last post. Make it a good one. What is the reason you blog? What
is the last gem of knowledge you want to leave? What do you want to be
remembered for? Who are you?
I’ve been tagged with the questions above by the Urban Recluse
It’s actually quite an interesting idea: write your own blog obituary, almost. So I’m up for that challenge and here goes.
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When I started this blog I had vague and grand ambitions of finally releasing all the stories inside my head. I know there are some good ones in there and I hoped there’d be at least one great one. What I didn’t know when I started is that I would constantly be faced with my own shortcomings.
I’ve been lucky enough to meet some really great people online with this blogging and a few of them are really, really talented. One or two of them make me want to give up in despair.
Actually, for a little while I did, but the lure of putting my stuff out there proved too much so I came back.
Funny then that despite wanting to so much, I very rarely posted the stories I had to share. I suppose fear of criticism and fear of lack of validation have always been my enemies.
So, with heavy heart today is my last day blogging.
I have to move on and do the things I can do without fear of failure. Although I teach my coaching clients that to dare to fail is to succeed, in this one area I am as raw and sensitive as a new born child. Success and achievement in other areas is no guarantee of confidence in this and perhaps, just perhaps, because I am so confident and secure in most other areas of my life the perceived gap when it comes to writing is that much bigger.
And when I read that sentence again I realise that my writing is too complex sometimes, because I say too much and go on too long, almost like someone who speaks without pause for breath and dominates a conversation in so doing, much as I’m doing now with this even longer sentence.
I can’t bring myself to stop because I don’t really want to say goodbye.
Guess saying goodbye really is hard to do.
Goodbye.
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Now, I’m not really going anywhere, but it was a curious exercise to imagine myself at some point in the future, writing those words. Quite instructive, actually.
And it gives me pause for thought that the real reason I don’t post many stories is that I’m just too scared to find out that they may not be that good.
I wonder just how many people never really try for fear of possible lack of success? Ridiculous, really, isn’t it?
technorati tags:meme, goodbye, obituary, confidence, success, self-belief, story-telling
Whew! You scared me for a minute there. For what it’s worth, I think the stories you have shared are good ones. One thing I think it’s hard for many people to realise; the hardest part of writing is the ability to write a story at all. If you don’t have that, nothing on earth can help you. If you do have it, you can learn to improve the way you shape and polish each story. You, clearly and without a doubt, have it.
Hi WA.
Thanks for commenting.
It’s kind of nice to hear praise, to be quite honest, but still at the back of the mind is a small voice, always waiting to jump in with as much destruction as possible.
Funny really, considering what I’m like in every other area of my life. Some people would even call me arrogant, because I’m sure of what I can and cannot achieve.
But for this one part of me, I feel like a hermit crab. Vulnerable when exposed! I think I know the way to cure it, although it’s a bit chicken and egg: post a ton of stories, including the poor ones , and just get used to whatever the responses are.
Actually, I think about the number of times my childre don’t do something because they’re worried what other people will think of them. Not really a good way to run your life – is it?
Guess I should set them a better example!
Amin, I don’t find that strange at all. Whatever else you can do, that you feel confident in, doesn’t involve your deepest self.
When you write, you bare your soul, and place it on display for everyone to comment on. That is always a scary thing. And it is very hard to feel confident while doing it.
Go ahead and post your stories, Amin.
Just keep on with your ambitions & writing desires.
Writing is weird like that. In my work life I churn out a million reports and no one comments on ‘speeling’ mistakes or poor use of grammar. It wasn’t until I got into blogging that I found that there was someone to give me some feedback.
Yes, exposing that underbelly is scary but from what I’ve seen of your writing Amin, there is nothing to be scared about. Get it out there, throw yourself in – only good can come from it.
Amin, I’m glad that was a fake. Even the posts are a part of our writing, so fear not! You are already out there!
Listen to Susan, one of my favourite writers.
You say that “One or two of them make me want to give up in despair.” Don’t. Instead, strive to better them.